Some Inheritance Humor

Enjoy these funny stories from Les Kotzer at Fish & Associates.

Barry Fish and I have co-authored four books relating to wills and inheritance. Two of our books, Where There’s An Inheritance and TheWills Lawyers, share stories from inside our world of wills and estates. Some of the stories will shock you, some will touch your heart and others may bring a smile to your face. I would like to share an inheritance joke and two inheritance related stories from The Wills Lawyers.

If you wish to watch me reading some stories from my books, you can visit thewillslawyers.com. If you would like to purchase one of my books, you can drop into my office at 7951 Yonge Street (Yonge at Royal Orchard). You can also call us to order at 905-881-1500.

1. CAN I HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

Trevor walked into a bar, looked across the room, and saw a gorgeous woman. Trevor went over to her and asked if she was alone. She was. He introduced himself and just felt compelled to impress her. What began to catch her attention was when he said that he was an only child, and therefore, heir to a massive fortune. He told her about his father’s great wealth, his mansion, his ownership of so many companies, and two yachts in Bermuda that his father owned. He said, “My dad is 89, a widower, and when he dies, it will all be mine!” Now having captured the attention of this gorgeous woman, Trevor asked her if he could have her phone number. “No,” she replied “But can I have you father’s number?”

2. FROM THE MOUTH OF BABES

A few weeks after mom’s funeral, Ken and his sister Tess met a real estate agent to sell mom’s home. It had always been a warm place; and Tess’ 7 year old daughter, Madison, had spent a good part of her early years at Grandma’s house. It was Grandma, while she was still in good health, who had looked after Madison while Tess was working.

The agent listed the home but selling it was not so easy. After a month or so had passed, the agent suggested lowering the price. Still there were no takers. Over the next several months, the price was lowered again, and, yet again. Finally, the agent called. There was a buyer! They all wanted to be at Grandma’s when the buyer came. The agent cautioned them that it was not the usual thing to do, but they were insistent. Ken wanted to speak of the warmth of the place. Tess wanted to be there because she didn’t want Ken to be alone. And, Madison had to come because there was nobody to babysit for her.

The meeting with the buyer took place after the supper hour. It went well, but the agent wanted to get down to paper work. He wasn’t pleased to have first Ken, then Tess, speak of all their happy years in the place. This wasn’t good for business. But, there was no way the agent could signal to them to just shut up and let the buyer’s good mood lead to a signature on a page.

Meanwhile, little Madison heard her uncle say such nice things about Grandma’s place; and then she heard Mom follow up with more nice comments. She felt left out.Yet she was the one who had spent more time with Grandma than either of them. So, she just had to contribute something. The little girl spoke up, and with smiles, Ken, Tess, the agent, and the buyer all stopped talking so the cute little one could put in her two cent’s worth.

“Grandma’s place was really good,” especially when it rained really hard, because Grandma and I would play splash and I would put my boots on when all the water came into the basement!”

The buyer promptly left.

3. RULING FROM THE GRAVE

We get to hear very unusual situations that arise when people pass away. One of the strangest situations came to our attention when we received a call from a lawyer in another jurisdiction. He had read one of our previous books and knew that we would be interested in hearing what he was experiencing, as he was attempting to probate his client Joe’s estate.

What made his work so difficult were the unusual provisions contained in Joe’s will which he was being asked to probate.  Joe appointed his brother, Fred, as executor. The problem with the wording of the will was that Fred’s appointment would only be effective if Fred stopped drinking and joined Alcoholics Anonymous. There was no back up executor named, in the event that Fred failed to qualify.

Joe’s will left $10,000 to his “know-it-all” sister; thanking her for all of her unending and unsolicited advice over the years.However, according to his will, his sister could not get her money from Joe’s estate unless she first placed a half-page ad in the local newspaper thanking Joe for the money.

Joe’s will left his home to his daughter provided that she marry a professional man and only if the marriage took place after she turned 30. His will left his coin collection to the first grandson born to any of his children, provided that his first grandson is named Joe. His will left the rest of his estate to his son, but the executor would have to hold this gift in trust for his son until he graduated from medical school. If the son didn’t graduate from medical school, then his son would not get his inheritance until age 60.

The lawyer who called us said that he had never seen such effort to rule from the grave. He said that Joe evidently wanted to stay on in this world, and departing it didn’t seem to fit into Joe’s personal agenda.

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Les Kotzer is a wills lawyer with the law firm Fish & Associates, 7951 Yonge Street, in Thornhill.  If you wish to learn more about wills and powers of attorney, you can visit leskotzer.com to watch his complimentary online seminar.

If you do not have a will and are not sure where to start, Les offers a free will consultation. He also offers a free will review for those who have a will and are not sure if it is up to date.

Les Kotzer is a regular guest on the Barb Di Giulio show on Newstalk 1010. He has also been a guest on the Marilyn Denis show and on CTV news, CNN and Fox. Les was awarded the Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee medal for his work in wills and for educating the public on
this important topic.

To arrange for a Free Will Review or Free Will Consultation, please call (905) 881-1500 or email him at les@leskotzer.com. or visit willappointment.com. To learn more about his book The Wills Lawyers: Their Stories of Money, Inheritance, Greed, Family and Betrayal, please visit thewillslawyers.com.